Travel, Writing, and Everything in-between
It’s easier to travel alone. I don’t have to worry about other people’s needs, wants, nor worries. I can be selfish and do what I want to do, when I want to do it: Sleep a day away instead of exploring a city, or take a round trip bus trip just to avoid walking. Of course there’s more to this preference for traveling alone, another side I tend to ignore (a sadder side to some). The biggest reason I travel alone is because more often than not I don’t have anyone to go with me.
Growing up, I never did things on my own—meaning I didn’t like playing outside by myself, nor attending parties/family-get-togethers that I didn’t know 90% of the people. I’ve always been an introverted soul, and when I was younger I needed someone I trusted to navigate new waters with. To put the icing on the mentally unstable cake, a few years ago I was officially diagnosed with Social Anxiety: a disorder which causes irrational anxiety when it comes to interacting with people, as well as lowers ones ability to communicate well in social situations.
Since moving away from home, going to college, and settling in my first Big Girl apartment, my need to be around other human beings has dwindled away; drifted off into the winds between the buildings of Uptown Dallas. I go to the grocery store by myself. I go to movies by myself. I’ve traveled to different countries by myself. The more things I do alone, the more I can handle. I’ve learned to revel in my solitude—sometimes to my detriment.
Once you become comfortable in loneliness it’s hard to climb back out of the hole you’ve dug for yourself. Empathy becomes forced and stilted. That part of your brain, the one that controls your actions and words, it’s rusty. It doesn’t remember what a normal conversation is. It doesn’t care about niceties and social norms. These days, I’m better at having deep conversations with my cat—or myself—than I am with another person, no matter how long I’ve known them.
When it comes to travel, it works the same way. After doing things on your own for so long it’s difficult to remind yourself that people act differently. They’re not always going to do what you think they should do. They don’t walk the same speed as you. They don’t want to visit the same places as you. They don’t have a problem with eating with their mouth open. People are different, and for me, that difference can be a detriment to my travel experience.
That’s not to say I’m a perfect travel companion either. I can be a fun person to travel with. I’ll always have snacks and will gladly spend a day lying on the grass rather than walking through another museum. But with the good, comes the very bad. When I get in a dark place it becomes impossible for me to act like a normal human being. I transform into this little gremlin whose only wish is to make the person I’m with feel as horrible as I do.
What makes it worse, is I never know when this transformation is going to happen. It’s a coin toss when you travel with me—either you’ll get the jolly, adventurous Bri, or you get the evil, little gremlin. And I understand that I’m not the only person in the world who is like this, and that the people I travel with have their flaws too, but I notice my own far more than I notice anyone else’s.
Basically, I travel alone because I’m used to it, I don’t have many friends, and I’m a difficult person to travel with.
Do you any of you prefer to travel alone? Any fellow grumpy-cats out there? I figured it was about time my internet companions knew the truth about me, and some of my habits.
Hey everyone. So, I assume we all know about the Hurricane and floods that hit the Southeast coast of Texas this past week. It’s been all over the news, and social media. I grew up in Kemah, Texas and a good 90% of my family still live down there in League City, Clear Lake, Alvin, and Katy. So I’ve listed some charities that I’ve been donating to below.
I didn’t want to take up a whole post about this as I’ve not been affected by the storm (I now live in Dallas), but the devastation is still happening as I write this post and honestly the only thing I can think of to do is to give money to organizations that I believe will help better the lives of every human and animal affected by this disaster.
Greater Houston Community Foundation
Catholic charities of the Archdiocese of Galveston-Houston
If you know of some other reputable charities please link them in the comments below.
Thanks For Reading!
I definitely prefer travelling alone, especially if it’s somewhere I’ve always dreamed of going! But sometimes it’s nice to have the memories with others hmmm
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Completely agree. I’m always going back and forth on which way is better. I think it just depends on the trip
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Thanks for sharing the charities with us. I was just reading an article about Cattle having no where to go, it’s a big problem for the cotton too. Hope your family is fine.
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Yeah everything is a bit of a mess right now… but there are lots of people doing good work down there and the community is coming together to rebuild so I’m hopeful. Thank you for your well wishes. My family is doing alright, just gutting homes and trying to regain some sort of normal again.
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Glad to hear everything is OK.
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Lovely post, thank you so much for sharing with us!
Isn’t That Charming.
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Thank you so much 😊
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I’m really enjoying your blogs Bri. I appreciate the honesty and openness that you write with. I find that the most difficult people to be with are the ones who have no idea they are difficult. You seem to be self aware, a very good thing. I don’t know you, but I wonder if you are too hard on yourself. Enjoy your travels!
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Thank you so much 😊 Honesty is something I really appreciate in writing and find it’s what make things worth reading. I think I definitely am too hard on myself sometimes, but I’m trying to be better. I think that’s what counts most, recognizing faults and trying to fix them or at least adapt. I know I’ll never be perfect but at least I’ll be better than I was then, and someday better than I am now. Thanks for you so much for your comment! It makes my day when someone takes the time to comment on my posts.
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Love your words. I completely agree since I love travelling alone too. 🙂
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I completely understand what you mean; this is precisely why I couldn’t live with other people that ARENT used to my habits because i like being alone and have developed some not safe for society habits xx
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Yes! I live on my own now too and it’s just soooo much easier
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A great, open and honest piece. I have done a lot of solo travel. I also had several sides of myself that came out to play, depending on the headspace I was in. Sometimes it was somber, sometimes it was manic, sometimes it was pure peace. It was a good study. Now I am married and traveling with a partner. It is not all roses and some days I yearn for the days I was traveling alone, hoping to have a partner some day. It’s a big circle and travel is such a great vessel for self exploration as well as exploring the world. Thanks for sharing yours…
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Thank you for your comment Dave. I completely agree that travel is a vessel for self exploration, and I too hope to find someone one day who is willing to go through the good and bad days with me. It can be fun to go it alone, but some things are done best with others. Best wishes on your days ahead 🙂
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YES, so well put! I love travelling by myself. Especially if I have a sort of ‘fixed point’ at my destination: something to do, a place to meet people and have conversations. More often than not, it’s a dance class for me. It could also be a meetup like a group hike or similar. But I absolutely love being on the road on my own!
Kathrin — http://mycupofenglishtea.wordpress.com
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Oh wow you’re much braver than me, Kathrin. I don’t go to dance classes at home, let alone in a different city/country. But that does honestly seem like a very fun thing to do. Thanks for commenting 🙂
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I’m a dancer so I have to keep taking class, otherwise I get out of shape 🙂 It’s really fun because you meet all kinds of people.
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Okay that is seriously awesome!
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I really loved your piece, Bri! Especially the part about wanting to do things alone as you get older. It’s something I can definitely relate to. 🙂 I love your honesty and your style of writing just makes you so relatable!
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Aww thank you so much, Renelle! I do feel like a crotchet old lady some days because of how often I like to be alone, but I’m glad others can relate 😊
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Happy you’ve found a way to hit the road that makes you happy. And thanks for following my road trip blog
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Thanks 😊 can’t wait to read more about your travels!
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I don’t mind either way. There are times when under the stress of the pressure cooker world we live in today it’s nice to have that travel time by oneself to recuperate. But I think every person needs to know they are part of a living vibrant society they can enter and enjoy too. There is security in knowing that if the chips are down and you need help and support there is a friend who will come to your rescue. When that security is not there it is a dark place indeed.
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I know I’m late to this party and I don’t often comment on posts that I read months after they were written but you hit a chord and I had to stop in and say so. And say hello. Hello. Ive traveled often both ways and I’ve even done the “meet you in Vegas” thing. Not always was the solo travel my choice but neither were all the accompanied trips. And you know, both were some of the best times I ever had but never were they the worst. I guess when we’re doing what we want to do, we’re going to make it work, with whatever it takes to make it work. So, have fun out there. And away enjoy yourself.
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Hello!
Exactly. Can’t know a trip is going to go well until it happens. I think I’ve chosen to travel alone more often than not recently mainly because it’s easier with my schedule. But my next trip is with a friend so I go back and forth depending on where I’m going. Thanks for commenting 🙂
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Nice post. I am a female, and I prefer to travel alone. If I go with someone else, like my family, I never get to see the things I want to see. For example, I may want to stand motionless and admire some monument or picture for 20 min straight, and no one can endure that around me. I was in Florence two years ago for one month – alone – and it was one of the best holidays I ever had.
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Yes, exactly!! When you travel with others you have to juggle their needs and wants with yours and sometimes (honestly most of the time) it makes the trip less fun or meaningful for ones self. I am with you 100%! Thanks for commenting 🙂
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